Thanksgiving Hangover

Thanksgiving Hangover
If you're anything like me, you stuffed your face to obscene levels in celebration of the Pilgrims tricking the Indians into thinking they were their friends before they exchanged Small Pox for land. I gained my usual 5 pounds, and I can't wait to gain another 5 at Christmas!

Black Friday
Since I was visiting the in-laws in Western Kentucky, I wasn't sure how Black Friday would pan out. Apparently, they are not as Black Friday-savvy there or our economy sucks because I was the first one in line at Staples. I felt like I was in The Amazing Race - "You are Team #1!" Except I didn't win a trip. All I got was some crap that I had to go back the next day to straighten out and get them to charge me the price they advertised - jerkwads! The G-Train and I managed to get a lot of our Christmas shopping done later, though.

Amazing Race Recap
Speaking of the Amazing Race, he's my final episode handicapping for next week. Nicki and Starr have a 90% chance of winning and Tina and her cheating husband have a 10% chance of winning. The frat boys? None. 0. Zip. These two Clueless Joes must be the luckiest dipshits alive with all the bullets they've dodged. They are truly the Sanjiaya of TAR.

Other Festivities
After dominating much of an Uno game, my luck ran out and my 11-year old nephew edged me out for the win. Then he thought it was hil-freaking-larious to ask me 8 million times "How's it feel to lose to an 11-year old?" Such disrespect! Where has today's youth learned such smart allecky poor manners? Anywho, I printed up a phony email from the Rules and Regulation Committee of the World Uno Federation (WUF) which explained that Rule 42.7 declared that any matches with players under 13 years of age would be declared exhibitions and therefore I would retain my Grand Master status (yes, I do stupid shit like that in real life). It all sounded pretty official, and my nephew mostly bought it. At least it shut him up.

Football-wise the weekend was a disaster. My college picks couldn't have been crappier. My Arizona Cardinals were 12 shades of pathetic, and my fantasy team lost for the third straight week, dropping me to 7-6. Yikes.

That's all I got for ya!