Grabbag Tuesday

Weekend Festivities
As I mentioned last week, my sister Lisa got married over the weekend. It was a great, great weekend and a great time to be with family. I have nothing but good things to say about the newly married couple. There are a few pics floating around the Facebook-verse, but not on my page yet.

December 1980
While hanging with another one of my sisters, Cindy, we came across this 12 shades of awesome photo of me and her at the West Point cadet December graduation. This was my idea of getting dressed up: corduroy pants and a lumber jack shirt. The hair style is called Don't Cut Your Hair For 2 Years.

Happy Turkey Day
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there except Doctor Zibbs, as he'll in all likelihood be bawling his eyes out after the 12 Shades of Awesome 1st Place Arizona Cardinals, Possibly the Greatest Team Ever Assembled - EVER! beat the Philadelphia Eagles Thursday night. What do you Canadians out there do on our Thanksgiving, besides watch our football and competition eating with envy? I hear you have your own Thanksgiving earlier in the year. Is that because your Pilgrims were frozen to death by the fourth Thursday in November back in the day? Whatever. Have a good day at work, eh? We'll be not thinking of you.

That's all I got for ya!

Psst, Hey You, C'Mere

Yeah, you. C'mere. All right, here's the deal. It's been cool you hanging around here and all, but. Uh-oh, someone's coming, act normal. *pretending to give directions* OK, so you want to go another mile on this road, then you turn left at the strip club...

OK, that was close. Where was I? Oh, yeah, "but". How can I put this delicately? Um, you need a "Coolness" make-over, ok? Yeah, you're like someone on What Not to Wear who wears sweats that she cuts randomly with scissors and proudly proclaims, "Oh, everyone says I'm soooo stylish!" What? How would I know about What Not To Wear? Um....well, that's what I heard people do on What Not To Wear, OK? Look, never mind about Stacey and Clinton and the $5000 and Nick Arrojo and Carmandy, ok?

Let's get back to your Coolness Make-Over. For instance, you've told me you don't know where the phrase "Eating Chicken Vindaloo" comes from. Shh, not so loud! People are going to think I hang out with dorks. OK, it comes from this song by the Ramones, and ...wha? What do mean, "Who are the Ramones?" *hits head on wall 6-7 times. Hard. Takes a deep breath.*

OK, it doesn't matter for now. Just download this song I Just Want To Have Something To Do. And while you're at it, you better download David Garza's Dylan-esque The Perfect Tear and a new song by the New York Dolls that just came out Runnin' Around. Now, git! What? No, it doesn't cost anything! Huh? No, I don't know how that's legal. Just do it before people see, OK?

Grabbag Thursday

ECV Staff Sent Home For Holidays
Things are going to be slow here for the next couple of weeks. This weekend, my sister Lisa is getting married, pulling her into a tie for second, with 1, with my three other siblings for most times married. I'm, of course, "winning" with 2. Yay me! Seriously though, it should be fun. If you hear anything about riots in Atlanta, it'll just be us. Then, next week, the G-Train and I are heading over to western Kentucky for Thanksgiving at her folks house, the highlight of which will be watching the 12 Shades of Awesome First Place Arizona Cardinals, Probably the Greatest Team Ever Assembled - Ever! beat down the measly Eagles after knocking off the Giants this weekend.

More Football News
I finished second in the family football pool for the fourth time this year last week. My fantasy team also took a loss, and UNC lost - not a particularly good week even if the Cards, Giants, and Jets all won.

Mad Props
The Imaginary Reviewer has it going on at his place with a restaurant review of Axl Rose's new pizza chain. It's worth checking out!

T-Shirts On Sale Now
With the demand for my new t-shirts shooting through the roof, my staff is working on some more. We're also making up some coffee mugs with a drunken Pester Boy picture. Stay tuned.

That's all I got for ya!

Hottest Christmas Present On Sale Now!

Can't think of what to get your loved ones for Christmas? I got all the answers right here - the brand new Eating Chicken Vindaloo T-Shirts! Just click here to order yours now.

Lots Better Than Lots Better Then Your Blog

Since Falwless steals most of my gags and shtick and LBTYB is a poor imitation of Eating Chicken Vindaloo, I thought I'd turn the tables - only I'm doing it better! And you know what that means? Oh-yeah! Kitten pictures! Here's a couple that are 5 years old of Pester-Boy.


He had a drinking problem until he grew out of his awkward teen years.


And now, a comic strip that's actually funny. Reprinted without permission from Classic Rock magazine.


Falwless has been so outdone, she probably won't show her face around here for a while. Win-win baby! Awesome posting/less Falwless!

Mathdude's Excellent* Adventure

So I'm driving in to work yesterday and I get to the part of my commute where I take the right fork onto the I-240 bypass going into Asheville. This semi veers right in front of me discombobulating me long enough to where I'm beginning to head on to the left fork instead of the right. I make an instantaneous decision, ok, wait, let's make that "an instantaneous wrong decision" to yank the wheel right and try to make the turn on the shoulders of the road. I bebop around on grass for a few yards before striking a hole popping my right front tire. Great.

I pull onto the shoulder and begin the tire changing process, loosening lug nuts, jacking the pick-up, and lowering the spare from my undercarriage under my bed, all the while vehicles are screaming by me within a couple feet at the speed of sound. When I grabbed the spare which I haven't used in about 5 years, I could tell immediately it was flat.

I grab what I need to teach my classes, cross the bypass, stick my thumb out, and within 30 seconds get a ride to work. I tell everyone I know about my predicament hinting at the need for a ride back, but all I can get is a cigarette lighter air compressor to pump up the spare.

So that means hoofing it back the 5 miles or so, most of which wasn't bad at all. It was a beautiful day and I can handle a little walking. It was fine until I reached I-240. Let's just say it's not designed for people to walk it. In the wrong direction. Anywho, I reach my truck after an hour and 15 minutes or so of walking. I had picked up some Fix-a-Flat along the way, and the spare inflated without incident. I re-jack the truck, take off the lug nuts, and the goddamn wheel wouldn't come off. I kick it and whack it with the tire iron for about half an hour to no avail until a DOT truck pulled over and the driver pulled out a sledge to loosen the wheel. 5 minutes later I was on my way home. At least it didn't happen today when it's pouring rain!

Heavy Metal for Dummies
I'm picking up that many** of my readers haven't experienced the awesomeness of Heavy Metal and thus have been deprived of the joy of being cool. So this week's Tracks of the Week are 3 songs by Judas Priest. Think of it a Heavy Metal for Dummies. How can you go wrong? The first is The Rage, described by many brilliant music critics*** as the best song to listen to when you want to fight someone. You should probably take this to Thanksgiving Dinner with your family. The next is my favorite JP song, Fever. And lastly, You Got Another Thing Coming is one you're probably already familiar with.

*Not so excellent
**1 or 2 of my handful of pathetic fans****
***Jackson and me
****people whose lives must be so incredibly empty, they read ECV

The 12 Shades of Awesome 1st Place Arizona Cardinals, Probably The Greatest Team Ever Assembled - Ever!

What a great* football weekend this past 3 days have been! I lightened by $20 the amount of money by brother's carrying around when UNC beat the crap out of Georgia Tech. $20. I want my $20! Then, I nearly won the** family football pool missing out by 1 game. I need to win soon, or it'll be the first year I'm paying in. $20! I want my $20!



The 12 Shades of Awesome 1st Place Arizona Cardinals, Probably The Greatest Team Ever Assembled - Ever!
Whew, that's getting to be a mouthful*** every time I say/type that. Who would have known I'd be spending the whole season saying it? I figured**** by Week 4 they would have dropped back to 2nd place. 1988 was the last time they were 3 games over .500. 1975 was the last time they won the division. Of course, they almost blew it last night. Singletary has done a great job in the 3 weeks as the Niners' coach changing the***** attitude of the team, but he totally screwed up the last 45 seconds of last night's game. Their loss is our gain, though, literally and figuratively. $20!

Fantasy Football News
My team is now 7-3 after scoring the week high for the first time in 3 years. I share the best record in the league with one other team with 4 weeks to go. mike over at brown sox and yellow cottons, or something like that (I think it's****** some kind of reference to pissing and crapping in your pants, a common Red Sox fan affliction) told me he won a nail biter after using some 12 Shades of******* Awesome 1st Place Arizona Cardinals, Probably The Greatest Team Ever Assembled - Ever! players. Cool! $20! I want my $20!


* $20! I want my $20!
** $20! I want my $20!
*** $20! I want my $20!
**** $20! I want my $20!
***** $20! I want my $20!
****** $20! I want my $20!
******* $20! I want my $20!

Save Your Money

First up, AC/DC's new album Black Ice. As a huge AC/DC fan, I was very excited about their first release in many years. I'm not saying the album is bad, per se, just disappointing. If they were tired in 2000 and couldn't keep the same old grind going, they come across just as tired now, 8 years later. I still like it; it reminds me of Flick of the Switch, which I also enjoyed a lot. But, it sounds a lot like the same ol' rehashed same ol'. While the songs are good, there's no energy, like the energy that abounded in Back In Black. Overall, I'm disappointed, and while I'll listen to it, I can't recommend it for casual AC/DC fans.


Next up: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club's new album, The Power of 333. If you've read my thoughts on BRMC in previous postings, you'd know I'm just about their biggest fan. They are totally fucking badass even if they are stiffs when they perform live. They are hyper-hyper-hyperindependent and have tolerated dealing with record companies to release their music until now. Now they write their songs; they produce their songs, and now they distribute their songs over the internet, and at a reasonable price! Totally fucking brilliant! This is the wave of the future people. Bands will sell their stuff online through a distribution service they control. The only problem? The Power of 333 totally sucks! To start off with, it's 100% "instrumental", no lyrics. The lack of lyrics doesn't bother me too much (Joe Satriani's Flying In A Blue Dream was 50% instrumental and it was brilliant). "Instrumental" may not be the right term for The Power of 333. It's noise with a few keyboard notes played in the background. It reminds me of Pink Floyd's Ummagumma, another dreck-laden album. Up-Bup: don't argue. Many have tried to convince me of Ummagumma's value, but all have failed. 2 of the 10 tracks on The Power of 333 have an actual guitar playing actual musical notes, but even those tracks aren't particularly good. I seriously considered demanding my $6 back on principle, but I don't want to go on some blacklist ala NO SOUP FOR YOU! This one's a no-brainer: save your money!

Another Shameful YouTube Video

Fellow Skateboard Gang member Max Q. Peck posted another 25 year old video of us on YouTube. Read all about at the West Point Skateboard Gang blog and check out the video if you want.

Oh, you know you want to, Nosy McBusybody!

Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree

I'm thinkin' the elephant symbol as the Republican Party logo should be changed to a big black horse and a cherry tree.

I said, "No, no. No, no, no, no."

I said, "No, no, you're not the one for me..."

Election Day Predictions

Here's some predictions: someone will lose, someone will get elected. OK, OK, how about "Someone new will be elected president"? OK, OK, for real now: with nearly 2-1 support among voters, O'Bama will squeak by tommorrow night. Why so close? Because Democratic voters are lazy. They're complacent. I think many would rather have something to cry about than to do something about it. From what I'm seeing on the commercials, siding with Bush at any time ever in the past is akin to eating babies.

Here's what your typical lefty swinging Dem is up to on election day, though: What, you mean I have to go stand in line to vote...I will...I swear...Right after this hackey-sack game...Gee, it's getting late...Smoke a joint?...You know, I think we got it covered...What the? McCain won?

The G-Train and I voted on Saturday. I voted mostly Democratic, but went for a couple Republicans, including the NC governor race.

Football

I continued my streak of college football pool mediocrity this weekend. I'm beginning to get a little worried that I might actually have to pay up this year. Loved the end of the Texas Tech-Texas game. USC is only up to #7, though, and need some help to get to the championship game. The Dallas Cowboys were so incredibly inept this week, they looked like the Cardinals do most years. My 12 Shades of Awesome, First Place Arizona Cardinals, Probably the Greatest Team Ever Assembled - Ever! handily defeated the Lambs, giving them a huge lead in the NFC West. In fact, the Giants going 7-1, the Jets going 5-3, and the Cards going 5-3 and each being in first in their division makes this by far the best half year rooting for these teams. I got another win in my fantasy football league. I'm now tied for the best record in the league.

More Goofy Pictures

I posted a few more awesome photos on my Facebook thingie like this one at left. This one's from we lived in Virginia, 1975, I think. That's TA on the left and my mom on the right. Boy, he's pissed, isn't he? It's like he knows he's going to regret this picture being taken, huh?

Dude, we totally rock!

That's all I got for ya!